photography by Robert Vano
This is one of my favorite photographs
To me it expresses the physical bliss
As well as the spiritual ecstasy
This young man is experiencing
As he makes love to himself
~*~
Masturbation: The Sacredness of Self-Loving
(Updated: 050118)
Making Love to One’s Self is Sacred
A spiritually intimate experience of being
“Masturbation is a Meditation on Self-Love. ~Betty Dodson
"Masturbation, or Self-Loving,
Should never be marginalized as second best
Or thought of as a substitute for sex.
Self-loving is a beautiful, joyous,
Intimate expression of loving yourself.
The better lover you are for you,
The better lover you can be for others.
Masturbation is healthy, normal, natural,
And should be celebrated for what it is -
A Truly Marvelous Gift."
~*~
When we first discovered the delicious pleasure derived from playing with our penises, most of us learned to masturbate quickly and quietly so we wouldn't get caught. Sadly, this is still the method used by many adult men today, mainly because men rarely talk to each other about it. If we did discuss it, we would find so many new ways to explore and enhance our physical pleasures. We would also find a deeper connection with our male friends. Getting people to talk about Masturbation is the main purpose behind dedicating May as Masturbation Month.
Masturbation, or Self-Loving, is a universe waiting to be explored. There is a vastness, a richness and a depth of physical pleasure, mental well-being, emotional health, and spiritual expression just waiting to be discovered and refined. But no. So often we stop with just the silent quickie wank before going off to sleep. I know because this was my experience as a young man. If this is where you find yourself in relation to Masturbation then I encourage you to get out of your box, talk to other men, research the Internet, explore, experiment, and discover the amazing bliss that can be yours.
When you masturbate, I encourage you to turn your attention away from porn and your fantasies with others. Instead, turn your mindful attention to truly loving yourself. Be aware of the life force inside you. Feel it flowing throughout your entire body. Focus totally and completely on loving and pleasuring you. Doing this has greatly enhanced my own self-loving practice. It has brought deeper meaning and higher states of ecstasy into my life. It is my wish that you experience this.
Now to be clear, I don't always take the time to masturbate in this manner. Sometimes I just want to watch some porn and have a quick wank. There is nothing wrong with that but it certainly does not give me near the satisfaction I get by taking my time to awaken my body fully, engage my heart, mind, and spirit before stroking my penis to orgasm. So I make it a priority to masturbate mindfully most of the time.
So let's begin.
One of the most important elements in enhancing your Self-Love experience is Foreplay. Foreplay is necessary to awaken and elevate your sexual energy from the warm embers deep inside your body into the roaring, screaming, moaning fires of blissful ecstasy. This is essential for a deeply beautiful and blissful experience. I believe the length of time enjoyed in orgasm and blissful afterglow is directly related to how much time you spend warming yourself up through foreplay. The more time you take building up your sexual energy, the longer and more powerful your orgasms and afterglow will be.
I begin by anticipating making love to myself during the day. When I am ready to get physical, I continue by slowly, sensually stripping off my clothes - often in front of a mirror. (Mirrors are a great addition to self-loving experiences as they allow us to actually see ourselves making love to ourselves.) I then begin to mindfully massage my standing body focusing mainly on my back, butt, balls, taint, and thighs. Next, I sit naked in bed and begin lovingly massaging my entire body starting with my toes. I don't touch my penis with intention very much during this foreplay. I wait for my penis to be begging for attention before I give it. I allow my whole body, mind, heart, and spirit to awaken to the feelings of love and pleasure that only I know how to give myself. I continually experiment with different ways of touching, rubbing, and squeezing all my body parts to find what gives me the most pleasure.
Once I've mindfully massaged each part of my body, I lie down on my back and begin skating my fingertips very, very lightly over my tummy and sides, up and down my arms, over my chest and up my neck, head, lips, ears and down again to my nipples, pubes and inner thighs. For me, it is important that these touches be VERY light - just barely grazing my skin. I have found that very light fingertip caresses spark the most pleasurable electric, erotic energy through my skin. I love the feeling of getting goosebumps and those pleasurable tingling shivers that quiver throughout my body.
As I continue this foreplay, I whisper sweet words of love to myself from me to me. I call myself by name as I tell myself how much I care about me. I don't think about past lovers or fantasy lovers. I focus solely on me loving me. As I lie there with me, I giggle and tease myself. I am my own special lover who knows me better than anyone else in the Universe - my first true love - the only one who knows exactly where and how to touch the special places of my body and of my heart.
I continue touching, whispering, and loving until my penis is begging to be stroked. It is then that I focus on my penis, my balls, my anus, my nipples because these are my erogenous zones. As I touch these parts, I allow myself to moan - softly at first - and then louder and louder as my passion is beaten into a frenzy. Don't discount the amazing power of sound. The sound of your hand fapping your penis, the sound of your testicles slapping, the sounds of those incomprehensible words we utter in moans and squeals, and the sounds of rapid, sharp breathing all bring about a heightened experience. As I near orgasm, I rub my feet and legs together so by the time I orgasm, my entire body is writhing and convulsing with unbridled pleasure and unbounded joy screaming in ecstasy. Ahhhhh, and then to sleep, perchance to wet dream. : )
Through my explorations - thus far - I've found this way of masturbating to be a far superior experience than my usual mindless wanks. I think one of most important elements in improving our self-loving experience is to always be exploring new ways to bring ourselves greater pleasure and love. So be daring and find your own way to better sex and love with yourself.
Always remember:
The better lover you are for you,
The better lover you can be for others.
